Council Rejects Endangered Species resolution.

Chimpanzees are an endangered species and Stourgate Council rejected a resoluton that could not only have saved the species but also all life on earth. At least that is according to cllr. Barry Heptfleck who proposed Bill 44-A, 2026 also know as The Chimp Bill.

Stourgate Town Council voted 6-1 on Tuesday to reject The Chimp Bill. The bill mandated replacing ‘chimpanzee’ with ‘himpanzee’ in all council communications.

Heptfleck said ‘My fellow councillors, by rejecting this you have brought disgrace to Stourgate. Future generations will weep when they see what might have been. I curse you and your offspring for all eternity.’

Council leader, Marjorie Atkins said ‘Don’t be a spazz.’ The meeting was then ajourned.