Stourgate In Brief

Bin collection delayed by one day due to bank holiday.

Market’s Tuesday pitch count rises to nineteen stalls. A new stall selling bed valences was added this week.

Dog seen on seafront for third day running, no owner identified. Witnesses claim it looked like a dog. The RSPCA have installed their top marksman in a hide in the Marina.

Stourgate one of seven gates of hell. Retiring Cardinal Alfonso Ricci says there is a portal to hell behind Betfred in the High Street.

Found: Packet of tissues at La Cucuracha Mexican restaurant. Write to the Bugle describing them to claim.

Fly tipping The Council have involved Kent Police in an investigation into fly-tipping in Cholsonly Woods. A mass grave with several hundred bodies and thousands of body parts was uncovered by a Woods coffee shop volunteer last week.

Darth Vader to visit Stourgate. Darth Vader has commanded his top scientists to create a time machine/interstellar vehicle and he aims to visit Stourgate in it in November.

Stourgate is best. Stourgate named as #476 best seaside town to visit in Kent by the Good Seaside town to Visit Guide.

Council review. Dunton Council are reviewing the use of cheese in future road repairs. chemist

Stourgate Town signing. Stourgate Town have signed Tonali from Spurs, fee believed to be £130M. The Italian only spent 3 weeks playing for Tottenham.